Light relief to huffing, puffing

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Picture: Yanni

IT’S getting hot and crowded on the stairs at Birdrock Beach, Mt Martha.

While some visitors are happy to enjoy the scenery and tranquillity, others seem more concerned about beating their personal best times as they rush up and down.

Regular stair walker Rob Dawson, of Mt Martha, says barbs are often exchanged between the groups and admits his occasional comments have drawn return fire. 

To lighten the mood, Mr Dawson has penned light-hearted poems which he thinks encapsulate the method – and the madness – of the bustling scene. 

He places them along the fence near the stairs along with pads and pencils so others can contribute their own thoughts.

The keen musician’s rhymes often provoke a response. “Yes, I’ve had some interesting reactions,” he said. “Some people get angry and abuse me while others support me. Some suggest I call Lifeline or begin therapy.” 

Let the reader be the judge:

Angry stairs at Birdrock
If ya go down to Birdrock
You’ll find a lot of stairs
Fitness nuts in lycra
Like to gather there
Water bottles and mobiles
Racing up and down
Oblivious to the beauty
Or pedestrians who are found
Enjoying the scenery, taking in the view 
No time for that, there are PBs to do
Butts to be lifted, abs to be exposed
Stress on their faces, in their fancy clothes
Stairs are getting creaky from constant use
Locals are frustrated, anger and abuse
Solution to the problem
Sorta hard to see
Hope the councils got, good public liability.

First published in the Mornington News – 5 March 2019

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