Compiled by Cameron McCullough
“HULLO! Earth!” was the startling greeting received by the writer who had established himself with a wireless set in the Baxter hills during the weekend. Then ensued the following dialogue:
“Who’s speaking?”
“Mars!” came the reply.
“How are things going on with you up there?”
“Good-o!” replied Mars, who was then asked to give a Martian opinion on the earth’s affairs, with which he proved himself to be in close touch.
In the course of a long reply, he said:
“From our viewpoint; up here, the most-notable recent event on earth was the real attempt to settle the vexed questions in Europe. Great care,” he added, “will always have to be exercised in that electrical region to prevent wars which may start at any time in the Balkans, and spread westward with the rapidity of a great forest fire.”
Asked to give a Martian opinion on Australian affairs, Mars replied: “We are all pleased to observe the great prosperity you are enjoying in that part of the earth, but we think that greater use should be made of your golden opportunities. More railways should be built all over the country, also more roads.
A railway should be built in Central Australian, along the route recently taken by the motor party of the Victorian Governor.”
Referring to the Mornington Peninsula, the man in Mars said: “The territory from which you are communicating with me is most beautiful, and should be settled by thousands of happy families. The views of Westernport Bay are exquisite. Good roads should be made to connect Pearcedale, and numerous other small towns, with Frankston – the city that is to be.
The Mornington Peninsula would then, without the slightest doubt, soon become the cabbage garden of Victoria.
Your locals in the Frankston and Cranbourne Councils should wake up and agitate for a bit of the 1½ million to be spent by Prendy’s Government in building developmental roads.”
Questioned with regard to Victorian sport, the operator in Mars responded: “We have not given much attention to your racing yet, but as regards football, it looks as if South Melbourne will carry off the Victorian League premiership, while, with ordinary luck, Frankston should be champions of the Mornington Peninsula Association.”
“Ta ta, Mars; another word next week!”
Frankston Life-Saving Club – A Successful Social
A very successful euchre party and dance was held in the Mechanics’ last Thursday evening, in aid of the Frankston Life-Saving Club’s clubhouse.
About 160 attended. Forty ladies and gentlemen indulged in a pleasant game of euchre, the prizes being won by: 1st lady, Mrs. Haggart; lady’s booby, Miss M. Culhane; 1st gent’s, Mr. Cooper; gent’s booby, Lang Deane.
The excellently-timed music supplied by Mr. Jones, of Hastings, was much appreciated. In presenting the prizes, Lieut.-Colonel Lazarus thanked the people for attending and supporting such a worthy cause, and spoke highly of the members for their work on behalf of the club house.
The secretary (Mr. Mart. Royle) wishes to thank the ladies’ committee for the supper, and all others who helped to make the function a success.
Prizes were donated by Mr. Jennings, Mr. Amor and Mr. Royle.
Mr. Dyson donated two dozen packs of cards.
Seaford – Mrs. M. Commerford’s Great Billiard Enterprise. Grand Opening To-morrow (Saturday) Night.
In our advertising columns to-day the popular proprietress of Seaford House, the up-to-date boarding establishment, De Luxe, on the Point Nepean road, of the favorite seaside resort, makes an important announcement to the effect that to-morrow (Saturday) evening, her latest enterprise – a fine billiard saloon – will be opened at which its hoped there will be a large attendance of the local “sports.”
The function element will be predominant on this auspicious occasion by reason of the fact that Mrs. Commerford will celebrate the event by providing an excellent supper for the devotees of the cue, and their friends.
So don’t fail to roll up and test your prowess on the tables. That you will show your good taste at the supper tables, in consequence of the appetising viands that will appear on the festive board of welcome is a foregone conclusion, seeing Mrs. Commerford knows exactly how to cater for her guests.
Truly, to-morrow night will be the night.
AFTER a spell of fine weather heavy rains fell during Monday night, and most of Tuesday. Although such a copious rainfall was not needed, it will do a lot of good.
Dams and tanks are overflowing, and creeks and water ways are flooded.
The soil is again too saturated to permit of cultural operations. Warmer temperatures now experienced rapidly effect a drying influence, and all cultural work will be resumed shortly.
Fruit trees are coming into blossom and leaf. Apricots and plums are now in full bloom; and with favorable weather should set a good crop of fruit. Apples and pears, although not out yet, are expected to yield heavy crops, except something unfavorable intervenes.
Last year the presence of thrip in the blossoms of “Rome Beauty and Five Crown apples greatly reduced the yield of the first variety, and almost wiped out the last sort.
The moist summer lately passed proved favorable to the spread of woolly aphis, and a deal of spraying has since been carried out to keep this pest in check.
Seaford – A Driving Accident
Mr. J. Bodsworth, accompanied by Mrs. Bodsworth, and their two children, also Mrs. D. Lovett, while driving along the Point Nepean road, near Mrs. Commerford’s well-known boarding establishment, on Saturday afternoon last, met with what might have resulted in a distressing accident, owing to the pony slipping on the roadway and throwing some of the occupants out of the jinker.
Fortunately, they escaped without sustaining serious injury, but Mrs. Lovett was considerably shaken, and it is believed, she received a slight kick on the back of her neck from the frightened animal in its struggle.
Mr. Bodsworth stated that the pony’s legs “simply flew from under it,” and the next thing he knew was being thrown out, head first between the shafts and the startled quadruped.
Mrs. Bodsworth and one of the children retained their seats in the jinker, but the child in Mrs. Lovett’s lap was thrown out, and despite the fact that the latter lady fell across it, it escaped without injury.
Later, Dr. Hilliard Johnson attended Mrs. Lovett, who was, naturally, suffering from shock, and minor injuries, and under his care she is making satisfactory progress.
WHEN the secretary of the Hastings Football Club arrived home on Saturday evening, after attending the match at the Base, he was surprised to find that his house had been broken into, and a quantity of food stuffs stolen.
Constable Smith was notified early on Sunday morning, and has the case in hand.
He is endeavoring to sleuth the offender or offenders.
It is hoped that the guilty ones will be brought to justice.
From the pages of the Frankston and Somerville Standard, 27 & 29 Aug 1924
